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    20 Years

    “She had imagined that, as time went by, the grief would shrink and become neatly encapsulated in her life, in a small and manageable way. But what happened was different. The grief stayed…

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    Sitting with It

    “Sit with the pain until it passes, and you will be calmer for the next one.” – Naval Ravikant I started seeing a new therapist in the spring of 2009. I initially went…

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    Stuck

    A Letter to the Past Me: I see you, sitting there wondering what keeps you stuck. What prevents you from fully feeling your grief, from sitting with it and looking at it in…

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    Chains

    “The chains that bind us the most closely are the ones we have broken.”  – Antonio Porchia I have come to imagine my grief like an iron weight I carry around with me,…

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    Milestones

    “The holiest of holidays are those kept by ourselves in silence and apart: the secret anniversaries of the heart.” – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow I think we all expect milestones to be difficult in…

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    Losing Hope

    “SHE’S GONE.” In that moment, my knees gave out from under me and buckled, my back hitting the glass wall of the post office entrance, where I had been shipping home boxes of…

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    Cathy

    “When you are sorrowful, look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.” – Kahlil Gibran I am going to…

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    Uncomfortably Numb

    In the months after my sister, Cathy, died, when I had returned home to the US and was living with my parents, when I was struggling to avoid my anger – a simmering…

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    Discovering Joy

    For most of my life, I had believed that happiness and joy were interchangeable feelings, synonyms for the emotion we feel when things are going well, when we are content and untroubled. They…